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Living with AIDS: Rae Lewis-Thornton

Living with AIDS: Rae Lewis-Thornton
By Kathy Chaney

“A day in the life of a DIVA living with AIDS.”

That’s how Rae Lewis-Thornton usually starts her day when communicating with her friends and followers on the social networking sites Facebook and Twitter.

Her spirits are always high when detailing her good and bad days. She never shies away from telling it like it is as she invites you in her life via her Twitter, Facebook and MySpace updates.

“People talk about AIDS like it’s some theory. I’m living this b—- and it ain’t cute!!!“ I hv (sic) to face it – no matter what problems I face in my life, AIDS has a cruel way of reminding me that it will not be ignored.. Check Mate!” Lewis-Thornton tweeted on Feb. 1.

The 47-year-old was diagnosed in 1987 with HIV when she was 23-years-old and made the transition to AIDS in 1992. She contracted the disease through unprotected sex with a long-time lover and believes she was HIV positive five years prior to her diagnosis. She learned of her status after donating blood.

“AIDS is no longer a sexy topic. White American has moved on and Black America is in denial. We’re so paralyzed by the stigma and shame that we ignore it. That’s disheartening to me,” Lewis-Thornton said.

HIV/AIDS is the number one killer of African-American women between ages 25 and 34. African Americans are three times more likely to have HIV/AIDS than any other racial group; and African-American women accounted for an estimated 69 percent of new infections for women, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

“I’m laying back and enjoying the wonder of the day and miracle of living with HIV for 26 years,” “Heading to the gym. Can’t be a DIVA living with AIDS and can’t fit my clothes!” “Just wondering – Do you know your HIV Status…The earlier you know the longer you live. A Fact!” stated more Twitter updates.

Then there are updates that bring the stark reality of the disease in your face: “Finally home from the doc office. 11 tubes of blood, a physical exam and a 1-1/2 (hour) interview. Having AIDS is a lot of work,” “It’s day 4 on this IV medication and it’s not cute!!! Waiting on a breakthrough!!!” “I have decided I hate the f— out of AIDS!!!“ according to her tweets.

When you visit her MySpace or Facebook page, you’ll see videos of what kind of day she may be having. There’s no sugarcoating when she reveals her life with the disease.

Lewis-Thornton kept her status a secret for years, became an AIDS activist and began speaking about the issue. When she opened up about her story, there was silence, said the former political organizer, referring to a speaking engagement 15 years ago where the audience must have overlooked literature that stated she had the disease in addition to being an activist.

“I worked the room before it was my time to speak. Guys, some alone and some with dates, were hitting on me and passing me their numbers. I just smiled and continued on the mission of why I was there. When I got to the podium and told them who I was, Rae Lewis-Thornton, and was living with AIDS, you could hear a pin drop,” she said.

It was that event that propelled her advocacy on a national level. A few months later she graced the cover of Essence magazine.

“As I walked off the stage, Susan Taylor (then-editor of the publication) pulled me aside and said she wanted to tell my story. No one knew who I was; my name or my face. Taylor said my story needed to be told. I was the new face of AIDS,” she said, suddenly realizing this month marks the 15th anniversary of her Essence cover.

That December 1994 issue with Lewis-Thornton on the cover reads: ‘I’m Young, I’m Educated, I’m drug-free, and I’m dying of AIDS.’

Shortly afterwards, her health got worse before it got better. She wanted to throw in the towel and sensed in her physician’s voice that she was dying.

“There was a time my size 2’s were too big. I had bouts of sickness because of medication I was on at the time and one day I was literally on my bathroom floor for about five hours. I couldn’t keep anything in my system and I was too weak to get off the floor,” she said.

Ready to leave the medicine alone, she called her doctor as she lay on the floor and told her she couldn’t do it anymore. Her doctor’s response scared her straight, Lewis-Thornton said as she began to tear up recalling the incident.

“She started screaming at me and telling me that I couldn’t give up and that she needed more time. More (enhanced) medicine would be available soon and she wasn’t going to let me give up. I could tell by the sound of her voice that I was dying. I found that resolve to make it through and I’m still here,” Lewis-Thornton said while a smile broke through the tears.

The key to prolonging life is the medication, which she must pay $2,400 each month as a co-payment, she said. She receives her medical care from Stroger Hospital’s CORE Center.

There are days when the medication still makes her weary, sick and she doesn’t want to take it. But, not taking the medicine is never an option, said Lewis-Thornton, also a minister who is known as ‘Rev. Rae’ by fellow parishioners at Fourth Presbyterian Church.

“I’m not confused about my status. I deal with the fact of my health. I take the dosage that I’m supposed to, on time, every time. You have to or else you’re putting yourself at risk. Just because it may give me headaches or other symptoms, I must still take it. I’ll then work with my doctor to find ways to deal with it,” she said.

When asked if she thinks there’s a cure for AIDS, the answer was a quick “No.”

“It’s one of the most intelligent viruses that exists. It replicates itself and gets stronger each time. It’s like when you throw water on a gremlin and it multiplies, becoming scarier. How do you get rid of something like that?” she asked.

“At the end of the day would I want to have AIDS, ‘No,’ but that’s how it is and I’m going strong. There’s nothing I can’t do. God has a purpose for me and I’m allowing him to use me for that purpose,” she said.

Her advice to everyone: “Have some personal responsibility and know your status.”

Photo: Courtesy of Rae Lewis-Thornton

www.rltcollection.com

Kathy’s Top 10 stories of 2009

Obama Inauguration: Need I say more…

Michael Jackson death: Need I say more…

Burr Oak Cemetery scandal: Need I say more…

Derrion Albert death: His savage after-school beating a few blocks from Fenger High School by a large group of teens –– most fellow schoolmates –– was caught on video and sparked national outrage. His death ignited a national plea by several men’s organizations, anti-violence groups and radio personalities for mentors to step up to the plate and take stock in our youth.

Mark Anthony Barmore death: Barmore was unarmed when shot to death by Rockford, Ill. Police Department in front of an occupied church daycare. Illinois State Police ruled shooting justified. Illinois Attorney General supports conclusion. NAACP and other organizations are calling for a federal investigation.

Shaniya Davis death: The 5-year-old princess was raped and suffocated after being allegedly sold by her mother, Antoinette Davis, to Mario McNeill to settle a drug debt. Davis was charged with human trafficking and McNeill was charged with the rape and murder of the North Carolina girl.

Jahmesia Conner death: A missing persons alert by the Chicago Police Department on Nov. 16 about the 12-year-old was never distributed to the media. Her body was found Nov. 30 in an alley one block from her home. She was raped and had been strangled. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children initially labeled the pre-teen a runaway. Her death and the non-notification by the police department changed the landscape of missing persons alerts issued to the media. Since her death, at least 30 missing persons alerts, mostly juvenile, have been issued. At least half have been reunited with their families.

Michael Scott death: The Chicago School Board President was found partially submerged along an embankment of the Chicago River with a single gunshot wound to the head. The Cook County Medical Examiner’s Office and the Chicago Police Department ruled his death a suicide. Scores of family, friends and residents took his untimely death hard and refute the claim Scott took his own life.

Drew Peterson arrested: The former Bolingbrook, Ill. police sergeant was arrested for allegedly killing his third wife Kathleen Savio in 2004. Savio’s death was initially ruled an accident. Her body was exhumed after Peterson’s fourth wife Stacy Peterson went missing two years ago and hasn’t surfaced. A second autopsy ruled Savio’s death a homicide. Peterson remains the sole suspect in Stacy’s potential homicide, according to Illinois State Police.

Chicago’s failed 2016 Olympic bid:
Many were stunned at the ouster, especially in the first round of voting.

I love my ‘bones:’ I don’t need a sandwich

It’s not that I don’t hear it often, but as I watched an episode from the second season of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” it made me wonder –– again –– why it’s socially acceptable to make comments or inquire about someone’s small stature.

During the initial meeting between NeNe Leakes and her castmate’s (Sheree Whitfield) friend Tania, another castmate (Lisa Wu Hartwell) commented on Tania’s size and asked was she a size 0. NeNe then jumped in and said Tania needed a sandwich.

While I like NeNe, I took offense to the ‘sandwich’ remark.

Tania handled it very well, as she should have, responding that she doesn’t need a sandwich and she probably eats more than they do. She isn’t ashamed of her size, and she looks great.

Go ‘head Tania. Let ‘em know that thin girls rule and you’re proud to be in the skin you’re in. So am I.

Growing up I was called KaBone, Bones, Sticks, Twig, Skinny Minnie…you name it, it was part of my name. I was told I should put rocks in my pockets when walking down the street if it’s windy. I didn’t care what was said. It’s how I was born and it didn’t define me as a person.

My younger sister is the same, and I’m always proud when she wears shorts or a mini-skirt because it shows that she doesn’t care about her size and most certainly doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.

While I worked at Marshall Field’s during my college days, I was put in the Women’s Way (plus-sized) department. When the women walked into the department and saw me, eyes rolled and the comments just flowed effortlessly off their tongues.

“Do you eat?” “How much do you weigh?” “You’re so thin.”

Now if I came back and asked, “ How much do you eat?” “How much do you weigh?” “You’re so big,” I’d be the bad, insensitive person.

Give me a break.

I would never ask those questions, or anything similar, but it amazes me how people think it’s okay to ask someone thin questions about their weight.

If it’s not okay to do it to a big person, it’s not okay to do to a skinny person. Some of us may have thin skin, no pun intended, and the comments could break down their self-esteem and make them self-conscious about their weight. But then you might run across someone like Tania or myself and you’ll get your feelings hurt.

We don’t need sandwiches. We eat plenty, it just doesn’t show.

- Kathy Chaney

Why stop a good program that worked?

I was honored this summer to receive a media award from Probation Challenge Inc., a court-mandated program started by the late Judge R. Eugene Pincham and former probation officer, the Rev. Harold Bailey, that required high school diploma-lacking offenders within the Cook County jail system to obtain their G.E.D.

While it was great to be honored along with two other fellow journalists for our coverage of the program’s eviction from the City Colleges of Chicago (http://www.chicagodefender.com/article-1176-probation-program-evicted.html) , the awards dinner was also bittersweet. Towards the end of the ceremony, the crowd was reminded why Probation Challenge was a much needed program for our at-risk youth and adults.

Bailey, the program’s administrator, told the crowd that while Probation Challenge has no home, he would continue to do what he could for those in need. Then he got a little emotional and shared with the crowd why it breaks his heart that the doors were shut to a population that desperately needs help.

One evening while watching the 10 p.m. news, two faces came across the screen. The two young men had been charged in connection with a shooting.

“I rose up and couldn’t believe it. Those two were mine. They were in Probation Challenge and were doing very well. I corralled them in and they were on the right track. Now look. They went back to the only thing that was familiar. We need Probation Challenge back in full force. I’d better stop now because I feel a sermon coming on,” a choked-up Bailey said.

As we listened to Bailey tell the story, we couldn’t help but shake our heads in shame. I held back tears because I’ve talked with Bailey on many occasions and I could see the hurt in his face as he told the story. In some aspect, he felt he failed them but knew he did all he could within his power.

The community often asks for programs and job skills that will keep at-risk youth off the streets and employed. It may be easier said than done, but for many it takes the willingness to change their old ways to stay on the right track. Once they received their G.E.D. from the program, as required, they were done. But so many stayed to get involved with the many other classes offered.

Probation Challenge worked.

After learning of the two that unfortunately backslid, I couldn’t help but wonder if there were more former enrollees of the program that slipped back into their old ways.

- Kathy Chaney

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